In
my past two years of serving in Paraguay, I
have found that staying aware of and open to the
interconnectedness of my spirit to those spirits
around me gives me the strength, drive, and zeal
I need to continue on in my accompaniment of
others. I am learning to not give up on or
forget about the most marginalized and
downtrodden. I try to always respect that each
person I meet has a spirit that is just as
affected by the experiences of their daily life
as mine. Their strength and the well-being of
their spirit comes from the love and care that I
am able to give them; just as my well- being and
strength comes from the treatment I receive from
them. This understanding has helped me to grow
in spirit and in zeal over the past year and a
half.
I
think of my friend Ariel, who is now living in a
home for boys who are dependent on drugs, and
all the struggles I have had with him. For
instance, looking for him at his house at all
hours of the night and many times not finding
him, hearing him promise me something and
wanting to believe him only to realize the next
day he had lied to me. Practically everyone I
know has told me that it is not worth it to
continue my work with Ariel anymore. He is seen
as a lost cause; he will never change. There
have been moments when I’ve literally had to
force myself to leave my house to look for Ariel
to talk to him, to let him know someone was
worried about him or concerned for him.
Many times I have almost listened to the
people who have told me that he is just not
worth it, but for some reason I’ve remembered
that as much as I’ve felt my spirit flickering
out with all the seemingly fruitless efforts put
forth, it is not okay to give up on him. I
remember that Ariel has a spirit inside of him
that is just as affected by his surroundings and
the events of his life as mine is. I remember
that in moments when I feel it is just too much
to carry on, it is almost always the presence of
someone else and their loving spirit that keeps
me going, that strengthens and renews me with a
spirit of zeal.
This
past Thursday when I was sick in bed for the
fourth day in a row, lonely and recovering from
dengue, my day was brightened and my spirit
began to shine brightly when I received a letter
from Ariel. He has been staying in the home for
boys for a little more than a month now and
wrote to tell me thank you for helping him get
there. In my lonely moment, Ariel, the boy I
refused to give up on or stop loving, made my
spirit shine brighter.
